Grand Prize, 2014 HSA Renku Awards
Kasen written at Onawa, Maine
Tom Clausen, Ithaca, NY
Hilary Tann, Schuylerville, NY
John Stevenson, Nassau, NY
Paul W. MacNeil, Onawa, ME
Yu Chang, Schenectady, NY
Judge: Shokan Tadashi Kondo
* * *
Warmth of the Rail
a summer kasen
jo
damselfly—
the coziness sampled
from each chair
tc
a turn of the lock
at the boathouse
ht
spotless crystal
and polished silver
on display
js
the movie billboard’s
ten-gallon hat
pwm
moon-viewing
through the arms
of a Joshua tree
yc
our state fair organist
chooses his stops
ht
ha
a ballet
of departing swallows
in the wind
tc
the Queen Mary offers
a “paranormal tour”
js
is undying affection
enough to court
my sweetie?
pwm
sent to the bedroom
to revise a love poem
yc
their urge
to touch the screen
as they Skype
ht
after the train has passed
the warmth of the rail
tc
a plume of smoke
that appears to be the moon’s
visible breath
js
local news
touts a whiteout
tc
panic buying
based upon rumors
of kielbasa shortages
pwm
a gecko disappears
down the rabbit hole
yc
reflections
of cherry blossoms
at the Vietnam Memorial
ht
putting off spring cleaning
permanently
js
morning mist
so slow to pull away
from mountains
pwm
It’s a bird!
It’s a plane!
ht
an airman
comes out of
the closet
js
she dresses
to kill
yc
they start in bed
only to fall
to the floor
tc
enso
in the sandbox
yc
circumnavigating
through the longest day
of your bi-polar moods
js
I cope with the heat
while collecting swizzle sticks
pwm
E.T. fossil
from the Antarctic
core sample
ht
islands of plastic
bobbing offshore
yc
hotel room photo
of the moonrise
between the twin towers
tc
the giant harvester
fills truck after truck
pwm
kyu
her daughter-in-law
makes the phyllo dough
for mushroom strudel
ht
scent of pine
through the open door
yc
blinking lights
for both intersections
in the old mill town
tc
hopes arising from
the vernal equinox
js
the last petals
around miniature apples
drop away
pwm
a rainbow kite
received as a gift
ht
Judge’s Commentary:
These three kasen are very close to each other. “Warmth of the Rail” has more interesting and deeper love poems. I enjoyed all of the kasen, and I was impressed by their effort to master the kasen form. I used the judging method innovated by Professor Meiga Higashi, which looks at four levels of the renku structure.
1. quality of one verse
2. quality of linking
3. quality of shifting in the third verse
4. variety of topics in the mandala-like world
In addition to this, I think it is important to have among participants a well-balanced sharing of long/short verses and moon/blossom verses. The linking order might need a little more study. One of the most important principles in renku is to avoid the regression, both short distance and long distance, so I think a deeper understanding of objects and events in the world will improve the quality of renku.Thank you for sharing the renku with me. A happy future for American renku, and I look forward to seeing more of them.
With best wishes, Shokan Tadashi Kondo
Upstate Dim Sum 